Dating with herpes: When and how do you tell a new partner about it?

Dating with herpes: When and how do you tell a new partner about it?

Living with herpes doesn't have to mean the end of romance and love. But for many, telling a new partner that you have herpes can feel vulnerable and difficult – especially at the beginning of a relationship. Questions like “When should I tell?” and

“How do they react?” often takes up a lot of space.

In this blog post, we give you honest and practical advice on how to talk openly about herpes without it feeling like a burden – and how to take care of both yourself and your partner at the same time.

When should you tell?

There is no one right time, but here are some important landmarks:

• Not too soon – It's not necessary on the first date. Wait until you feel like the relationship has potential.
• Not too late – It should be said before intimacy so your partner can make an informed choice.
• When you feel comfortable enough – Choose a time when you are alone, relaxed and calm to talk.

Tip: Many people choose to tell when there is mutual attraction and a potential sexual relationship in sight.

How do you say it?

The most important thing is to be calm, honest and factual. Herpes is very common, and with the right knowledge, fears and prejudices can be demystified.

Example of how you can say it:

“I want to share something with you because I think it’s important that we are open. I have herpes – it’s something that many people have, and I’ve learned to live with it and manage it. It’s especially contagious during outbreaks, and I take precautions to protect myself and others.”

What should you inform about?

• That herpes is very common (more than 80% have HSV-1 or HSV-2)
• That it is not dangerous, but can cause unpleasant outbreaks
• That it is especially contagious during outbreaks, but that infection without symptoms can also occur
• That there are suppressive medications, condoms and products like herpes gel that reduce the risk
• That you take responsibility and care for your health – for example with healthy habits and natural herpes cream

How do people react?

Most people respond much better than feared. Often it's more your confidence and the way you say it than the information itself that counts.

If someone reacts negatively or judges you, it says more about them than about you.

Benefits of openness

• It strengthens trust and respect between you and your partner
• It makes you more relaxed and authentic
• It prevents misunderstandings and conflicts
• You show that you take responsibility and health seriously

Conclusion

Telling a new partner that you have herpes can be scary – but it is also an opportunity to show strength, maturity and honesty. Be honest, inform calmly and be open to dialogue. And remember: With knowledge, respect and the right protection – such as condoms and QUR's herpes gel – you can easily have a healthy, safe and loving relationship.